Relationship Counseling
Are You Having Relationship Problems In One or More Areas Of Your Life?
Do you find yourself struggling with the same relationship issues over and over again? Is the fear of intimacy, vulnerability, or abandonment showing up in friendships or romantic relationships? Do you struggle with boundaries and limit-setting in work relationships or with family members? Is conflict avoidance limiting your ability to effectively communicate your feelings?
Perhaps you have trouble feeling safe being your genuine self in the company of friends or limit how close people can get to you—which makes you feel lonely. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past, and it’s still affecting your ability to trust others and fully let them into your life now. Maybe you struggle with asserting yourself in order to get your needs met.
People Experience Relationship Issues Of Every Kind
Relationship issues can be a challenge in any or all areas of life because many of us struggle to productively manage conflict, communicate effectively, maintain healthy boundaries, trust others, or even trust ourselves.
Counseling offers you a chance to work with a therapist who can offer you valuable insight into yourself and your interactions with others. Working together, we will help you develop and maintain healthier relationships in which you feel understood, supported, connected, and at ease.
Whatever you are going through, whatever your situation is, I understand that relationships are hard regardless of their context. We all come with baggage and that’s okay.
Every Relationship Comes With Challenges
It’s just a natural part of life. That said, painful past relationships, traumatic experiences, and unhealthy dynamics in the family you grew up in can play a big role in how you navigate relationships throughout your life.
It doesn’t help that we live in a society that overly romanticizes family and intimate relationships, turning them into fairy tales that ignore the complexities involved in people sharing their lives together. We are often shown myths of relationships and love that require little effort, which sets people up to feel ashamed and disappointed that their relationships aren’t so easy.
And because our culture also applauds unhealthy expectations in the workplace—overachieving, perfectionism, the sacrifice of personal life and needs—when we want to set healthy boundaries and limits, we can feel like we are doing something wrong.
The truth is that it can be easy to get stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns—and hard to find clarity and break free on your own. So whether you are navigating a complicated friendship, workplace relationship, romantic relationship, life after a breakup, dating, family problems,or any other relationship issues, therapy can help.
Counseling Can Help You Improve Your Relationship With Yourself And Others
Many individuals’ relationship problems stem from the past, which is why therapy looks at the root cause of the issue. It gives you a chance to explore the history of your attachment patterns, your wishes, fears, and expectations for yourself and others in relationships.
Counseling helps you identify and address any old traumas or attachment wounds that may continue to play a role in derailing relationships, while simultaneously helping you manage the difficult emotions that may accompany those wounds. Working with a counselor can also help you challenge unhealthy messages you may have received early in life about relationships or your role in them.
A Little About My Approach To Relationship Counseling
In our first session or two, I’ll spend a little time gathering information to gain some context for your current situation. Then we’ll look at any contributing factors from your personal background and past relationships that may be influencing the challenges you’re dealing with now. We will also look at any current stressors in your life that may be having an impact.
Although I have expertise in psychology, you are ultimately the expert on yourself, and so relationship counseling will always be a collaborative process. Our work together will involve a combination of addressing root issues and practical problem-solving. We will explore the source of your struggles through a compassionate, nonjudgmental lens, while at the same time, focusing on practical solutions for moving forward in the here and now.
We will target your particular struggles through a variety of modalities to create a dynamic approach to relationship counseling. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model can help us understand the different aspects of yourself that may be at odds with each other. For example, there may be a part of you that is longing for close connection and another part that feels unsafe trusting others and sabotages relationships in an effort to keep you safe. IFS helps us understand and address both parts so that you can respond to your longing for connection and your fears, freeing you to create stable, lasting connections.
Psychodynamic theory helps us build an understanding of your early relationships with family, and how those impact your understanding of yourself and your connections with others. If we find deeper emotional wounding there, we may use EMDR or Ego State work to help you process and heal those wounds.
I can also integrate mindfulness and grounding techniques into our work to help you stay centered, calm, and in control of your emotions both inside and outside of sessions.
So whether you are having dating trouble, a difficult breakup, workplace conflict, friendship troubles, or any other relationship issue, counseling can help you develop and maintain relationships that are more rewarding and less stressful. In time, you’ll be able to show up in your relationships in ways that leave you feeling supported, connected, and at ease.
Perhaps You Are Considering Relationship Counseling, But You Still Have Concerns…
What if the problem really isn't that bad, and I am just making a big deal out of it?
If your situation is bothering you enough to be thinking about getting help, it is a big enough deal. You deserve to be as happy and comfortable in your relationships as you can be. Even if the distress you experience is mild, counseling can be a helpful way to improve your relationships.
I worry that therapy will force me to face painful relationship issues from my past.
Facing a painful or difficult history can feel overwhelming, yet it can hold the key to forming healthier relationships. So we will take a look at your past at a pace and amount that feels comfortable to you. In addition, relationship therapy will help you improve your ability to manage the feelings that come up so that this process of exploration doesn't feel overwhelming.
What if there's nothing that can be done to help me?
It is not uncommon to feel hopeless about the possibility of change. But you are here looking for help, which is a good sign that you are motivated and open to the work that needs to be done. I’ve worked with many people who have had your same doubts, and they have all made changes that have improved their relationships. You too can do the work to transform your relationships.